Following thru

It's 6:30 am on a monday morning. I now have been sitting at the computer for 45 mins and I am 15 mins away from having to log off. I am struggling with balance. I have an all or non mentality and am finding a very hard time with balancing the things that I enjoy vs the things that have to be done. There is something both good and bad about maintaining a strict schedule. I almost typed fairlystrict but the very fact that I nearly used "fairly" shows that I am not ready to commit to following the rules. For the longest time I had a pretty good handle on the schedule, however recently my little world has been rocked. My hubby who has been an over the road driver now is home every night. I have almost gotten over the loss of the remote but I will admit it's a bit hard at bedtime. I like a movie he likes that Earl show. It's funny, it used to take me about 2 mins to fall asleep, now that another show is on it takes me longer. I have no idea why. I used to walk every morning but now sometimes I stay in bed a bit longer as it's nice to be with Dennis. After my walk I would ran about the house and do some cleaning chores, now I have a cup of coffee and a game of hearts with Dennis. Then go to work, return home maybe have a bowl of cereal or a frozen dinner do a few more chores and then watch a bit of TV. Now I return from work, make dinner (not cereal) eat dinner, play another game of hearts then watch TV. What that all means is I'm gaining weight (no will power, NONE, nada), our home is more hairy and dusty, and I am feeling sorry about my self. What has been a good thing hanging out with my Poppy has shook my little world. See mention about willpower. So........I decided last night that I was going to fight for balance in my life, so why can't I have it all. Several years ago after a bout with depression and some professional consoling I learned that ultimately I and only I am in charge of my own ship, that as much as it's easier to blame others for our perceived short comings when it all comes down to it's up to me. So here I go, a schedule for me with a hearty promise to hold myself accountable. Times up and my 15 mins is done.